


Melodrama

by InesStarkDowney



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Father-Son Relationship, Fix-It of Sorts, Hurt Tony Stark, Light Angst, M/M, Memories, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-05 02:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12180981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InesStarkDowney/pseuds/InesStarkDowney
Summary: Tony Stark can't sleep most nights. Nightmares filled with bad memories haunt him every night. His bed is a bad place, but so is the rest of the compound where random memories (happy or not so happy) lie to get to him.So Tony tries to stick to the sweat soaking mattress, until he can't. He was right. He should have never left his bed, but out now, he can't get back, not when it's like the team is back.Happily, there's always Peter to help him get back to the real world.





	Melodrama

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry if there are any mistakes lying around. I try my best to catch them. 
> 
> Also, this was written to the sound of Melodrama by Lorde...hence the title. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Tony woke up every night with feverish dreams and cold sticky skin. Every night he sat on the edge of his too large bed, his feet never touching the floor, wondering if he should or not. Every night Tony decided to stick to his bed, before he stepped into a bad memory, just lying around. Even the good ones he avoided. It was too dangerous and Tony had no space for danger in his life anymore. Peter demanded responsibility and Tony did it all for Peter.

He was responsible enough not to let Peter get hurt. He was responsible enough not to let himself die and leave Peter without someone to guide him.

But tonight was not every night and Tony stepped out of his bed, running his hands through his wet hair. It was still safe here. Except maybe for the reflection of red, blue and white on the corner of his eye, on the corner of his bedroom, that even being large, if was certainly not big enough to hide away Captain America. So Tony ran and closed the door behind him, the sound of metal clashing on metal (and almost skin) far away in his mind. The wood under his feet made him realize that the snow in his mind was just there and he was home.

The hallway was silent and dark. When once Tony would have walked out and seen lights coming out from under some doors, because the night hung heavy on their shoulders, now there was nothing but darkness. Tony avoided looking at the hanged pictures on the walls, as though the laughs could come out to play with his mind. Happy memories fucked you over, reminded you that there was no going back to those happy times. So Tony walked faster till he was in the living space, kitchen, living room and dining room meeting in one.

It haunted him more at night, than it did during the day. It was too silent. Too empty.

Back then, Tony would come out from his workshop, knee deep in oil stains, dirty clothes and tired eyes to meet someone up here. Tony would come out from a dreadful hole in space in the middle of the night, looking out for help, and find a shoulder to cry on. Tony would deny any need to sleep and find ways to entertain himself and someone else that came along.

­­__________

Natasha was in the kitchen, drinking tea and reading an old book she probably stole from the library. Tony read the Russian letters in the hard cover and looked up to find Natasha looking at him with an arched eyebrow.

"I see you are finally out of your cave."

"Yeah, well... FRIDAY kicked me out."

Natasha snorted and the sound was welcome like it wasn't a few years ago and Tony's heart softened at it. It wasn’t much of a surprise as it had been the first time it happene, but it still managed to kick Tony’s stomach into doing a flip. Love.

"What are you doing up?"

"I decided to drink some tea and read."

Tony knew it wasn’t much of a decision, but more like an escape, running away from trouble, hiding in the dark corner, hoping the demons didn’t come to find you there. Tony ran to his own corner full of metal and bots that didn't obey him.

"Hm... Mind if I join you?"

Natasha looked at him for long seconds, part of her still pondering if she should trust him, but a smile bloomed, soft and young like Natasha actually was, and she nodded.

Tony sat down next to her, a cup in his hands and tea poured into it. If it had been someone else, he would have told them he wanted coffee, but next to Natasha, he drank the tea and laid his head on her shoulder, listening to her reading in Russian.

He didn’t understand it, but he listened to her every word.

__________

Clint was in the couch, playing games that were too loud for normal people at that time of the night but for them it was a noise welcome to shut down the other voices. Demons inside their brains, whispering nasty things.

Tony sat down beside him, coffee cup in hand, looking between the game and Barton.

"I think you are addicted to this."

"There are worse addictions, man."

Tony laughed and nodded before drinking some more coffee, sitting down in the comfort of pillows, blankets, Barton, home. They stayed just like that, Clint cursing from time to time, laughing when he won, and Tony smiling as he watched it all play out in front of him.

"Do you want to play?"

Clint extended another PlayStation controller to Tony, and looking between the controller and Clint, Tony asked if he was sure.

"Of course, man. It’s funnier to play with someone else. I get to watch you lose."

A smirk played on the corners of Clint’s mouth and from then on Tony forgot what brought him out of his room and focused on this, a game night with a friend.

"Oh, it’s on, bird boy."

__________

Tony found Thor coming out of his room, tip toeing not to wake up Jane that must have been fast asleep. Tony smiled at Thor and Thor smiled even wider because it was Thor and his smile was like a thousand suns.

"Is she asleep?"

"Like a rock. I do not wish to disturb her. She works too many hours and she needs her sleep."

Tony smiled at all that love pouring out in the small things, like making sure Jane slept enough hours, worrying that she worked too many hours. It reminded Tony of how Pepper used to be with him till he completely drove her away out of spite. She could only take so much and was quick to leave. Tony didn’t blame her. Things weren’t supposed to work out between them, not in this life time, not with Tony being more than just Tony.

Jane was not Tony, though. She would never push Thor away. And Thor would never be allowed to be pushed away. He stuck around for good. Tony learnt that not only because of Jane, but because of Loki. After all, Thor still loved him and fought for him with every ounce of his being.

"She’s lucky to have you look out for her."

"Well, someone certainly has to. She’ll forget."

Tony laughed softly and nodded.

"I see where she is coming from."

"You too have someone to look out for you, Tony."

"Not someone I can cuddle with at night." It came out like a joke but it felt heavy on Tony’s chest. He quickly ignored it to smile at Thor.

"That’s not what I see…"

Thor walked away, leaving Tony there, alone, thinking over his words and wondering who that was, who was there, keeping him at bay, sleeping by his side like only a lover could.

__________

Tony used to find Steve out more often. They ran into each other almost every night. And they stayed like that for the remaining of it. Together.

So many times. It happened so many times.

__________

Tony had been up all night, working away the bad, when he came upstairs to have a very early breakfast. He found Steve coming in from a run, sweaty and tired, tired, tired and tired. Once his blue eyes found Tony’s, he smiled, a smile lighter than the rest of his body seemed to be.

"How are you up this early?"

"Uh…" Tony looked for an answer somewhere in the kitchen, his mind trying to come up with something Steve would believe but nothing came and he just looked back at him.

"You never went to sleep, did you?"

"No."

"Damnit, Tony."

"I had things to do. Suits to fix! New things to create!"

"Yeah ,but none of that is more important than your health."

"Uh, I mean –"

"No, Tony. You’re going to bed now. The sun is not even out yet. Come on."

Tony fought Steve on this too many times before, and he could have fought again but he didn’t and just followed Steve back to his bedroom. Steve opened his bed like he was a kid and stayed till Tony was in between sheets, sat down by his side till Tony was certainly asleep.

"You should sleep more, too, you know?",Tony mumbled. "You wake up too early to run" 

"I slept for 70 years. I think I’m good."

"No, you are not."

And he wasn’t, he wasn’t. None of them were.

__________

Tony was in the couch, in the dark, trying to breathe in the right way, breathe out in the way that sobs wouldn’t come along when suddenly Steve was there, sitting down beside him, a hand in his thigh, squeezing, making sure Tony was okay. When he opened his eyes to look at Steve, he was sure Steve knew but smiled like any other time, more shaky, but still a smile.

"Hey, Cap."

"Hey… What are you doing up so late?"

"Uh...", Tony looked at his surroundings and back at Steve. "I was thinking of watching a movie. Insomnias."

"Oh… Would you mind if I watched it with you?"

And Tony knew Steve didn’t really want to watch the movie, he wanted to stick around, make sure Tony was fine. Tony didn’t mind, not anymore and just nodded.

"Great. What do you want to watch?"

"I… I don’t know. Hmmm…" Tony tried to come up with any movie but nothing came up, his mind blank to the world around him, except for Steve.

"How about we watch the first Indiana Jones?"

Tony almost sighed of relief but instead smiled at Steve and nodded. They didn’t have to say anything to FRIDAY as she put it on, because she was always aware of Tony, tracking him every single time, worried over her boss.

They fell back into the couch, shoulders and thighs touching and even though Indiana Jones was a great movie, Tony was soon much more into the heat emanating from Steve that quickly lulled him to sleep.

The last thing he remembered was his head on Steve’s lap and Steve’s fingers in his head. After that, Tony went out, sleep overcoming him.

__________

Every memory that came after that one was just Steve and more Steve, an overwhelming avalanche of blue eyes and soft smiles, caring and fighting and it was as though Thor's words finally resonated with Tony in a stab in the heart kind of way.

 

"That's not what I see..."

 

Steve.

__________

Tony was breathless. Shaking in the middle of the living area, a place from which he had not moved an inch since he walked in, Tony tried to contain all these mixed memories, of bad and good altogether, fears and demons with support and family and Steve.

It was worse than the pictures on the walls or the shield back in his room. It was torment and he could not shut them out. Wondering if they were okay, back in Wakanda, wondering if they had the help and support they needed. Realizing soon after that they had it all since they had each other. Natasha, Clint and Steve were alright. Thor should be with Jane in whatever land he was. They were fine.

It was just Tony alone in that house, too big and too empty, ghosts walking around, waking him up in the middle of the night, barely letting him breathe as he tried to find a refuge in this immense space.

Tony was alone. No more tea and russian stories; no more late night game marathons; no more barging in with Thor and his bright smiles; no more the care of Steve and the comfort he provided at all times; no more Avengers.

Suddenly all of the air in that large mansion was taken away from him and Tony reminded himself why he didn't leave his bed in the middle of the night.

Danger. Danger. Danger. DANGER.

"Mr. Stark?"

Tony spun around to find Peter in his pj's, sleepy and with ruffled hair, rubbing his eyes.

"You're supposed to be asleep, kid."

To much of Tony's surprise, his voice came out calm and collected, sounding more like himself than ever. For Peter, of course.

"Yeah, I know, but this house is too silent." Tony looked at him, wide eyes, filled with hurt. He wanted to tell him that it hadn't always been like this. That he had driven people away and now it was all gone. "Back in Queens if I wake up in the middle of the night it's easy to fall right back asleep. There's always some noise in the city."

"I can imagine." Tony managed a slight smile. But it was gone as fast as it came up.

Peter noticed and dropped his hand back to his side, looking over Tony, with a worried gaze.

"Why are you up?"

Tony swallowed dry, swallowed down the tears and the fears, the lumps that might not make him able to talk to Peter.

"The silence as well, kid."

Peter nodded and looked right through Tony as though he could see everything that was behind that silence.

"Could we go to the workshop and work on my suit? It's almost morning... And there’s no point in trying to go back to sleep."

Tony immediately smiled and nodded. This kid…

"Of course. But you better put on some better clothes. I don't think those hello Kitty pajama pants will protect you from anything."

Peter laughed and ran back to his room.

Tony stood there, the darkness around him not so threatening anymore.  

Yes, he didn't know what it was like to have their support anymore. He barely remembered what it was like to have them there, by his side, without the memories threatening to break him apart. Their absence was not so silent.  

But Tony would be fine in the end. He had Peter. Almost like a light in all that darkness the Avengers left him in. And with Peter there, Tony couldn’t dwell on the memories that came in like tidal waves. Tony had to be there, in the present, to be there for Peter when he needed him. Because Peter needed him, and Tony needed Peter.

He would be fine, just as he wished the team would be. They had each other.


End file.
